Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
