Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
