I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
