My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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