He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
