I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
