he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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