So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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