I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
