I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
