Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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