is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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