so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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