what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize