just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize