Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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