Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
