based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
