This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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