I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize