she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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