What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
