C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
