He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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