I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
