you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
