it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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