I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
