Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
