Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
