Whoa Z and x make the same sound
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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