I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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