i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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