just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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