I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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