did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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