my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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