Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
no, he came in my armpit
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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