Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
