the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
