At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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