I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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