no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
