I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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