you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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