Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
