i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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