babies were throwing up all over the place
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
