Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
