It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
