No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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