I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
