I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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