butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
