Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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