if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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