I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My ass is underappreciated
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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