Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
