Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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