i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize